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    You are here: Home / Parenting / Why I Am Not "Just" A Parent (And Neither Are You)

     

    Why I Am Not "Just" A Parent (And Neither Are You)

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    A few days ago, someone asked me if I used to be a teacher. She had been looking through the blog at some of our learning activities and wondered how I came up with some of the ideas. Since I get this question from time to time, I gave my standard reply,

    No. I'm just a parent

    She gave me a look and replied

    Of course you are not 'just' a parent.

    That caught me off guard because you know what? I totally agree with her. Of course I don't even believe there is any such role as "just" a parent. I would never ever tell someone they are "just" a parent. So why was I guilty of denigrating myself (and as a consequence all other parents who don't have a formal teaching background)?

    No one is just a parent.

    Well. We won't go into the psychology of that. I'm sure it will be all too depressing. Suffice it to say, I'm no longer going to answer with "I'm just a parent."

    I'm not sure exactly how I'll respond. It's true I'm not a formal teacher, a librarian or a literacy specialist. Other than teaching theater to university students, my experience is only with my kids, but I have a learned a lot about how to help them grow in their own educational journey.

    ...and truthfully, I've done most of it with little effort on my part. I could never homeschool, because I am basically too lazy. Yes, I make it look all pretty and shiny for the blog, but I can honestly tell you, I am not a high achiever when it comes to kids' activities.

    However, looking through our arsenal of at-home learning activities I see that I am fully qualified to have fun learning with my kids.

    I may not have had a science class since "Astronomy for Poets" way back in 1991, but I can ....

    • Run an informal DIY science camp with my kids, to learn about polymers, simple machines, air pressure and much more.
    • Set up simple science stations for my kids
    • Host a STEM play date
    • See all our science learning ideas

    I may not have studied math since I took calculus at 16 (honestly, who can understand that stuff?) but when my son showed an aptitude for math, I helped him...

    • By playing math games
    • Getting creative with math art
    • See all our math learning ideas

    I may have only gotten a B in high school art because my teacher felt I had "little natural talent", but I try to inspire my kids to...

    • Get creative with active art projects
    • Explore color
    • Decorate the windows
    • Pay attention to how my son works on crafts so I can help him more
    • See all our art and craft ideas here

    I may not have a degree in social sciences, but...

    • I put up maps for my kids to examine
    • Read folktales from around the world
    • Teach my kids to have compassion for others and give back to their community

    I'm not an occupational therapist, but I've discovered ways to support my kids' fine motor and sensory needs at home, such as...

    • Using journals for pre-writing practice
    • Playing with small objects from nature
    • Making giant dot to dots
    • See all our fine motor skill activities

    I may not be a reading specialist, but I learned all on my own how to...

    • Enjoy poetry and share that joy with my kids
    • Choose early chapter books for my advanced reader
    • Find early readers so my younger son won't scream in frustration
    • Make a gazillion book lists

    I do have a PhD in theater (see, I'm not entirely uneducated) and I can share with you ideas to try even if you don't have a degree in theater!

    • How to use an actor's toolbox to make reading wordless books fun instead of scary.
    • How to use oral storytelling to make housework easier. And toothbrushing, too!
    • See why you should take your kids to the theater.

    There is so much more! Have you seen our GINORMOUS list of indoor activities? I'm pretty proud of it. I'm also pretty proud to be not "just" anything.

    But let me say in closing, you do not have to do activities like this to be more than "just" a parent. There is no such thing as "just" a parent.

    What's your favorite way to learn alongside your kids?

    Share your wisdom. You are not just a parent.

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    Comments

    1. Eva Vrinda Eastman says

      October 03, 2014 at 6:42 am

      I was home-educated and I get asked a lot whether my parents were teachers. I tell them that, no, they were not, but that I was very stubborn with a strong independent streak and refused to be "taught" (my poor, dear mother...) and my entire education came about through their fuelling my need to learn things for myself.

      My mum taught me to read when I was 2 and from then on I would read book after book on any subject. She encouraged me to explore the world. If I had an interest in something she would give me all the tools I needed to learn about it and feel as though I was discovering it on my own. Your long, beautiful list of things you do for your kids reminds me of the kind of things she did for my brother and myself.

      I missed all of the early tests and qualifications because I had no inclination to take them - but when I finally decided (at 16) that maybe I was interested in some more formal education I was offered - without official qualifications, just by demonstrating my accomplishments and suitability - not only a place on the college course I chose, but also offers from 4 out of 5 of the universities I applied for afterwards.

      I guess I just wanted to say, well done for all you do with your children. You're setting them up for life with a wonderful attitude towards learning and knowledge and it makes me very happy to see! My mum certainly was not "just a parent" and neither are you!

      Reply
      • Erica MomandKiddo says

        October 03, 2014 at 10:28 am

        Thanks, Eva! Love your story!

        Reply
    2. Bethany Winston says

      October 03, 2014 at 8:25 am

      Love this post!

      Reply
      • Erica MomandKiddo says

        October 03, 2014 at 10:28 am

        Thanks!

        Reply
    3. Ann says

      October 03, 2014 at 10:08 am

      Being a parent is my favorite job! And I can totally see why someone would think you had a teaching background, you are obviously a natural.

      Reply
      • Erica MomandKiddo says

        October 03, 2014 at 10:29 am

        Thanks, Ann!

        Reply
    4. writersideup says

      October 04, 2014 at 12:33 pm

      OK, where do I begin? This subject has always been meaningful to me on several levels: as a parent and as someone who, the majority of the time, has done work that doesn't involve a salary. I also never went to school beyond high school (I tried a couple of snippets, but it wasn't for me).

      I think that the word "just" comes into play simply because, when people ask what you "do," they are almost always referring to a paying job or career. So instead of being more specific by saying "No, I don't have a teaching degree," we tend to respond with "just" or "only." Even if the word "just" or "only" came out when I answered, I never meant it in a demeaning way. In fact, I have a close friend who, several times over the years said she felt unproductive because she stopped nursing, because she wasn't "earning money" for the household. Her husband's position made it unnecessary for her to have to, anyway, but her mentality was that way. I, of course, always responded (I am disabled and haven't worked steadily in over 20 years) with "I don't hold an actual paying job and I'm living proof that you don't have to earn money to be a productive person." She knows this to be true and says, "I forget who I'm talking to." Yes, I am an extremely productive person.

      The truth is that most parents are teachers! And much of it has nothing to do with formal education like math, science, english or geography! We all KNOW this. It's just how society tends to label things or express things, and the truth is, we can be lazy about how we choose our words. (It's why I admire the Brits' exquisite use of language.)

      Erica (and any other parent), I'm glad you realized you need to stop using the words "just." I'm also thinking you need a more accurate "title" than "parent" since, unfortunately, many people don't look at "parenting" or being a "housewife/husband" as a "job." The truth is, it's not a "job"--it's instead, the most important, generous vocation there is! Parents teach from the moment their children are born, and it's done from a place of deep love and great responsibility. How lucky for anyone who gets to do this and DOESN'T have to work outside the home!

      You are a "teaching parent," and you have "chosen to focus on parenting." To me, you and many other parents are so much more than what any "paying" job accounts for. We are "jack-of-all-trades parents." THAT is really the "title." You get to be a teacher, a cook, a maid, a chauffeur, a nurse, a counselor, a life coach, and the list goes on and on. What a productive, fulfilling and worthy way to "earn a living"! 😀

      Reply
      • Erica MomandKiddo says

        October 06, 2014 at 7:51 am

        I love this response! I would add "mule" to my list of jobs. LOL

        Reply
        • writersideup says

          October 06, 2014 at 10:36 am

          lol, Erica! And, unfortunately, THAT would be true! lol

          Reply
    5. claireannette1 says

      October 05, 2014 at 11:34 pm

      I'm not just a parent but that is my favorite part of my identity. As to learning alongside your children - just realize that each day holds a new adventure. You just need to look.

      Reply
      • Erica MomandKiddo says

        October 06, 2014 at 7:50 am

        So true! Thank you!

        Reply

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